Crisis, Conflict, and Coping

Crisis and conflict, it is an inevitable part of life that we must all endure and with crisis comes stress. In a family setting this stress starts with a stressor event, which is anything that causes strain or tension. Not all of these stressor events cause the same amount of stress, some are more severe than others. According to the Marriage & Family textbook that we are currently using in my class the top five most severe stressor events in a family are

1. Death of a Child

2. Death of a spouse or parent

3. Separation or divorce of a spouse or parent

4. Physical or Sexual abuse between family members

5. Family member becomes physically disabled or chronically ill

All these stressor events cause crisis in the family but any stress and crisis can be overcome if the family uses appropriate coping mechanisms. Coping is the families reaction to crisis which can be either good or bad, it all depends on the attitude the family has. Attitude is the difference between making a crisis better or worse.

In class we compared coping in family crisis to pool coping. In case you don't know what that is, it is the red bricks in this picture.

Pool coping is the strongest part of the pool. It must be strong to withstand a lot of pressure and weight when people come in and out of the pool. Just like pool coping families must be strong before the crisis to withstand the pressure and weight of the conflict. Pool coping is also smooth which, when compared to the family, allows a smooth transition in and out of the pool or crisis. Lastly when the coping of the pool breaks you have a hard time trusting that part of the pool again. With the family if you choose a coping mechanism that doesn't work or cause a break in the family, it can cause a harder time to trust any coping mechanism. Coping is so vital when in a crisis. Even though it can be hard coping with crisis, it can stabilize and strengthen the family, which can only happen if the family understands how to cope with conflict and crisis.