You Can Date and Not Have A Boyfriend!

Since starting college I've made it a goal to call home at least once a week. I find that if I call on Sunday's I'm able to have a nice long conversation with my family. If I know my weekends are going to be busy, I'll call home as I'm walking to my apartment from class and have a lovely 15-20 minute conversation with my mom. However, every time I call, whether it's my parents or siblings, the first question I'm always asked is...

ARE YOU DATING?

or

DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND YET?

Now you have to understand that my family isn't constantly pressuring me to start dating the first man I see walking across campus nor are they seeing me lesser than I am because they don't receive the answer they want to hear. 

Whenever I call I alway wonder if whoever is talking to me understands the difference between going on dates and having a boyfriend, then I realized that the definition of dating has changed. First off lets change the word. 

Dating means to go out with someone that you have an interest in

Courting means to be involved with someone romantically, with the intentions of marrying them.

Dating is something that should be done with a variety of people. What I mean is that you shouldn't only take one person on dates over and over again, instead you should take different people out on dates every time. Dating allows you to get to know a person. You'll find out what they like and what they don't, their interest and hobbies, and their overall personality. Dating can lead you to finding someone that you may take a real interest in which then can lead to courtship.

However before we can talk about finding "the one" we must clarify what a date actually is. Elder Dallin H. Oaks, an apostle for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, said that a date consists of the 3 P's, planned, paid for, and paired off. These three P's are what differentiate a date from simply hanging out. Dates must be planned ahead! You can't just be hanging out with someone and go to Subway and call it a date, you should ask before hand and make it known it's a date. Next pay for it, this doesn't mean that you have to do anything super expensive but if you ask someone on a date, you're treating them to something. Lastly paired off. If you decide to do something like a group date stick with your date, don't go hanging around other people and ignore the person you invited. Make it known that the person you invited to go on the date is in fact your date!

After dating and getting to know a variety of people you may come to find that you want to start courting someone. When courting you move beyond knowing what they like and dislike and begin to understand how they handle different situation and what they're like with different people. You begin to know them on a more romantic level in which you may see the potential for a successful marriage. When you decide to court someone you go into it know that marriage is a very possible outcome. Don't begin courting someone when you already know that they aren't someone you could marry because that starts to playing with emotions that can cause more damage than good in the end. 

So my answer to my family's questions...

Are you dating?

Of course I am!

Have you ever courted someone?

Nope but I hope to one day!