The D Word...

Although it is sad and no one wants it to happen, it does. Divorce is something that many married couples go through. According to the American Psychology Association 40-50% of married couples in the United States go through a divorce. Those who have never experience divorce or parents who have gone through a divorce are ignorant to how complex divorce actually is and how much it actually affects the family. To begin to understand the complexity of of divorce you must know the 6 stages of divorce.

Stage 1 ~ Emotional

Emotional divorce can begin before the couple is ever separated and continues when they are. Emotional divorce is when the couple begins to grow more emotionally distant from one another. 

Stage 2 ~ Legal 

This is when the couple is legally divorced and the marriage is officially dissolved in the eyes of the law.

Stage 3 ~ Economic

Stage 2 and 3 typically blend together. Economic divorce is when everything the couple has property-wise is legally separated. Usually the economic divorce is discussed and executed at the same time a legal divorce is.

Stage 4 ~ Coparental

Some couple skip this stage if they don't have children. However if they do they discuss who receives physical (where they reside) and legal (who makes the legal decisions for the child) custody of their children as well as the the visiting rights of the parent who does not have physical custody.

Stage 5 ~ Community

This concept is a little harder to describe but my teacher explained it like this, who get the friends. This is when the relationship between friends and family becomes separated between the couple.

Stage 6 ~ Psychic

This to me is the most important part of a divorce if a couple chooses to divorce. Psychic divorce is when each individual in the divorcing couple mentally and emotionally accepts that there is a separation. This one is important because some couple or individuals never reach this stage. They are constantly trying to be around their ex-spouse or be an active part in their lives and never accept that they are, in fact, separated. 

No matter the reason, divorce is hard for anyone one. It doesn't only affect the family directly but everyone who cares for this family choosing to divorce. All we can do is validate the individuals experience without getting too deep into the story or choosing sides and be a friend for them in a difficult time. Divorce never means the end there are always chances to build new relationships and maybe even get remarried.